THE GOOFUS BIRD

The Goofus Bird, also known as the Flu-Fly Bird and formerly called the Filla-Ma-Loo, is a peculiar creature said to differ greatly from ordinary birds. Noted for its lack of curiosity and complete indifference to direction, it always flies backwards so that it can see only where it has been rather than where it is going. Though often mentioned, confirmed sightings are rare, which is remarkable given its striking appearance: a turkey-like head on a long bottle-green neck dotted with silvery scales, one black wing on the right, and one pink wing on the left. Its nest is always constructed upside down, and its clutches of seven eggs are invariably of the lowest quality, humorously described as “Grade D.” The bird’s cry is said to resemble the metallic clank of a Johnson bar on a steam locomotive being thrown suddenly into reverse.